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News
Family-to-Family Gatherings
Socializing is so easy in the summer months. Impromptu get-togethers happen with neighbors just by mowing your lawn and seeing your neighbor doing the same or bumping into friends on a bike ride. Once school is back in session and everyone’s after school activities kick into gear again, our free time can become severely limited. So how can we all keep in touch and spend time with friends when our schedules are jam-packed?
Family-to-family get-togethers benefit everyone involved. It’s great to invite families over so the adults and kids both get a chance to spend time with friends and neither family needs to pay for a baby sitter or a costly night out. Children will learn how to interact with others by watching their parents so show them how to socialize with their friends while socializing with yours.
It’s been observed that there seem to be two groups of friends - those who don’t mind hosting gatherings and those who don’t mind attending gatherings. Some people feel the need to serve a 7 course meal with their finest china when entertaining and others check to see if they have any chips that aren’t stale and figure they are good to go. Some may even be considered “party-phobic”. Do you worry that if you have a party, your friends will sit quietly looking at each other fidgeting uncomfortably in the silence? When you have friends over, don’t call it a “party” since the expectation of a roaring good time could put pressure on the evening. Once you include the children, then it becomes a relaxed, casual family get-together. Good friends just want to hang out and getting take-out dinner on paper plates is just as good if not better than a planned formal affair. The important thing is to socialize. Even if the burden is always on you to host or it won’t happen, it’s worth it. As parents, we often times are so focused on our kids that we don’t take time to have fun ourselves. By getting whole families together, everyone benefits. However, given our busy lives, we need to make it as simple as possible. Here are some tips on how to entertain easily and informally without adding stress to your lives.
In preparation for visitors, children may benefit from social skills coaching where you gently remind them to make eye contact, greet everyone, and so on. For more on social coaching, click here.
Kids Can Help: Kids can help in preparing for company by picking up toys, dusting, vacuuming, putting out serving bowls, filling a cooler with ice or any task that is age-appropriate. Some kids may benefit by working off a to-do list so they can complete several tasks independently.
Cleaning Your House: Pretty clean is clean enough. It’s OK to have a pile of bills on the counter so it’s not necessary to have your house in absolute perfect order before friends come over. If you have some clutter that you don’t have time to take care of, put it in your bedroom or some other place where your friends don’t normally go when visiting.
Invite using E-mail: with busy schedules, many times people are too busy to call and invite friends over so try e-mailing (just be sure your friends check their e-mail on a daily basis if you decide to contact them on short notice).
Create a Social Schedule: If you hang out with a group, you could talk with them about creating a schedule when the families will get together. Spending some time creating one schedule is easier than contacting people throughout the year. If a gathering has been on the calendar for a while, then it’s more likely that everyone will be able to attend.
Dinner Clubs: take turns once a month hosting and making a dinner.
Pot Luck Suppers: no extra cooking involved here since you need to cook for your own family anyway. You may want to establish a theme so you’re not mixing funky foods together (Italian night or Mexican night).
Take Out: take turns buying pizza and serve it on paper plates.
Game Night: Our personal favorite where the kids will play a game together and the adults do the same or play a game that can include everyone. To check out the family games available through Simply Fun, click here.
Theme Night: carve pumpkins, decorate gingerbread houses, write letters to Santa, have a campfire and toast s’mores, watch a movie together, serve ice cream, and so on.
Have Make-Your-Own night: pizzas, tacos, sundaes where each family brings an ingredient and everyone makes their own.
Develop a Neighborhood Signal: some families who have pools and fire pits will create a signal for neighbors that indicate a drive-by invitation. Put some sort of marker on your mailbox (ex. flag) that is a message to neighbors that your fire pit or pool or yard is open to everyone and all are welcome to stop by.
Many children who have social challenges lack the opportunity to socialize in a comfortable environment and they learn by emulating their parents. So tidy up a little, see who is available this weekend and let your kids watch you as you enjoy your friendships and help them to develop theirs!
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